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What it Feels Like to be Stalked

This is a composite of a range of our cases and though this case is not real, it may still be extremely distressing for some people. Please do not read on if you feel you may be triggered by an account of a stalking victim. 

Where do I start? Well, I met Jeff* a couple of months ago. We started seeing each other and it was going okay, but he always wanted to know where I was, what I was doing, which I thought was cute at first, but he became really obsessive.  

I was thinking of breaking up with him, and my friends really encouraged me to do so. I was over it, I pretty over Jeff. But I guess he wasn’t over me. He would call me all the time, he turned up to my work, and my house saying he just wanted to “talk” and delivering me gifts. I stopped replying to him and I said I would block him if he carried on. In the end, I had to block him, he was constantly calling and texting and it was getting too much. I began to miss my deadlines at work; I feel horrid and didn’t really sleep much.

I thought Jeff was backing off, but then I got messages from weird numbers, but I knew it was him: 

I totally forgot about the video. I was stupid to let it happen, but I had no clue what to do. He just kept telling me he would share it with my boss and my mum. If something like that got out, my life would be ruined. I pleaded him not to, but he wouldn’t listen.

I spoke with a friend and she suggested I report this to the police, so I did. I felt humiliated. I had to show them the video and all the conversations; I had to give an interview about all our relationship and how it has impacted me. I know Jeff was breaking the law, and he did get in trouble for it, but I still feel anxious and upset about it now. He was ordered to not talk to me anymore or he would go to prison. I didn’t want to push it any further; I didn’t want to ruin his life…though he ruined mine. I’ve even had to take sick from work and get therapy as I suffer from anxiety and I was very depressed after. I'm never going to know if he will stop or if he will just wait and start up again. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. 

If you believe you are being stalked, or someone you know, do not hesitate to contact the police on 101 or the National Stalking Helpline on 0808 802 0300.

Find out more about the National Stalking Helpline here 

*all names are fictious 

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