As a loved one of someone in the LGBTQ+ community, your support after a disclosure of intimate image abuse can be vital in providing a safe, caring, and supportive space.
If a friend or family member has disclosed that they have been affected by intimate image abuse, it may leave you feeling confused, scared, or at a loss of how to offer support.
We recognise that hearing that someone you care about has been affected by intimate image abuse can be distressing, however, it is important to remember that they have done nothing wrong and deserve support. So, how can you best support a friend in the LGBTQ+ community who has been affected by intimate image abuse?
Check for a safe space:
It is important to ensure that your confidant is in a safe environment where they feel supported and free from any immediate danger or harm.
You could ask your confidant if they feel safe and remind them that they can contact the police by calling the emergency number 999, if they feel they may be at immediate risk. You could also encourage your friend to document their experience and how it has made them feel. This can help people affected by intimate image abuse process what has happened and decide their future steps, it can also help if they need professional support.
If your friend doesn’t feel comfortable writing down their experiences, they don’t have to, and it’s important to make sure not to pressure them.
Stay calm:
We understand that hearing that someone you care about has been affected by intimate image abuse can be extremely stressful. To support your friend, it is important for you to stay calm and reassure your friend that regardless of what happens, you are there to support them.
Listen without judgment and steer clear of victim blaming:
Consensually sharing an intimate image is not a crime and is not wrong, this is something that many people choose to do as part of healthy adult relationships.
Non-consensual recording, threatening to share, or sharing intimate content without consent is against the law in the UK and it is important to recognise that your friend has been a victim of a crime. Regardless of your personal opinions, it is essential to be non-judgmental, reassure your friend that they have done nothing wrong, and treat their experience with care and compassion.
If you’re the first person someone has spoken to about what has happened, it is worth remembering that your initial reaction could have a huge impact on how they move forward. We encourage you to be empathetic, understanding, and supportive.
Respect autonomy:
With their guidance, you can empower people affected by intimate image abuse to make decisions that are right for their circumstances. You can always offer support, resources, and information, but it’s important to remember that they know what is best for them in the moment.
It’s important that if you do reach out for help on their behalf, you do so with consent and transparency.
Be patient:
Experiencing intimate image abuse can be extremely traumatic and being there without pressure or judgement is a great way to support a loved one.
Sometimes it can take a while for someone affected by intimate image abuse to feel comfortable opening up or reaching out for professional support, It is always best to respect their wishes and give them the time they need.
Encourage them to reach out for support:
Encourage your friend to reach out for additional support, you can find LGBT+ specific support services here.
If your friend trusts and consents to you reaching out for professional support, you can contact the Revenge Porn Helpline on behalf of others. Read more about the support we can provide here.
If you are a professional supporting someone affected by intimate image abuse, you can also get in touch with us on their behalf. We do not need to contact the client directly if this is what they would prefer, and we can support them via you/your organisation. If you would like us to support your client, you can find more information to enable us to report for the client here.
Should you need support in talking to someone about what has happened, you can find further emotional support services available to you below.
